When anxiety takes hold, many people turn to their thoughts for relief. They replay events, analyze conversations, and plan for every possible outcome. On the surface, this feels responsible, as if overthinking will prevent mistakes or prepare them for danger. But here’s the paradox: overthinking and anxiety don’t cancel each other out. They feed each other. What feels like control is actually an illusion : a cycle that keeps anxiety alive. Let’s explore why thinking harder doesn’t calm anxiety, how the illusion of control keeps you stuck, and how therapies like EMDR can help break the pattern.
Why Overthinking and Anxiety Feel Like Control
Anxiety creates a sense of uncertainty: “What if something goes wrong? What if I can’t handle it?” The natural response is to think more. Overthinking feels protective because it creates a temporary sense of order and predictability.
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“If I analyze every detail, I won’t miss anything.”
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“If I plan for every outcome, I’ll be prepared.”
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“If I keep worrying, I’ll catch the danger before it happens.”
For a moment, this provides relief. The mind feels busy, active, and in charge. But it doesn’t last.
How Overthinking Fuels Anxiety
The nervous system interprets ongoing mental activity as evidence that a threat is still present. Instead of calming down, your body stays in “fight or flight” mode : muscles tense, heart races, adrenaline flows. Each new round of analysis tells your brain: there’s still danger, don’t stop worrying. The cycle repeats itself, and anxiety grows stronger. What began as an attempt to feel safe becomes the very thing that maintains fear.
The Illusion of Control in Anxiety: Why Letting Go Feels Risky
One of the most powerful elements of the illusion of control is the belief: “If I stop thinking or planning, something bad will happen.”
Clients often describe overthinking as a responsibility, not just a habit. Letting go feels reckless, as though their vigilance is the only thing standing between them and disaster. But this is a learned association. The brain has linked rumination with safety, not because it prevents danger, but because it has become automatic.
The Cost of Illusory Control
Clinging to overthinking comes with real costs:
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Exhaustion: Mental loops drain energy and leave you depleted.
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Loss of presence: Overthinking pulls you into hypothetical scenarios instead of real life.
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Stronger worry pathways: The more you overthink, the more your brain reinforces the habit, making it automatic.
Instead of gaining control, you lose freedom.
EMDR for Anxiety: How It Helps Break the Illusion of Control
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy is best known for treating trauma, but it is also highly effective for anxiety patterns, including overthinking. When anxiety stems from past experiences such as criticism, failures, or moments of helplessness, the brain often keeps replaying them, fuelling the illusion that constant vigilance is necessary. Overthinking becomes a way of trying to prevent the past from repeating.
EMDR works by helping the brain reprocess those experiences so they no longer trigger the same alarm signals. By using bilateral stimulation (such as eye movements or tapping), EMDR activates the brain’s natural healing system (AIP system), allowing memories and beliefs tied to anxiety to be stored in a calmer, more adaptive way.
For people caught in the illusion of control, EMDR can:
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Reduce the urgency of “I must keep overthinking to stay safe.”
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Weaken the emotional charge of triggering memories or worries.
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Strengthen new, balanced beliefs like “I can handle uncertainty without overthinking.”
Clients often describe feeling freer, lighter, and more present after EMDR : less pulled into endless rumination and more able to respond calmly to challenges.
The Bottom Line
Overthinking and anxiety are closely linked. While overthinking creates the illusion of control, it actually keeps your nervous system on high alert, convinces your brain that danger is ongoing, and reinforces the cycle of worry. Letting go feels risky because your mind has learned to equate vigilance with safety. But real regulation doesn’t come from analyzing every possibility : it comes from teaching your brain and body that the alarm can turn off and that you can cope whenever you will need to in the future.
About the Author
Dr. Pauline Chiarizia is a Counselling Psychologist specialising in trauma and eating disorders. She offers online talk therapy and EMDR for individuals who are ready to explore themselves more deeply, break free from unhelpful patterns, and address challenges like anxiety, low self-esteem, and burnout.
Dr. Chiarizia helps you develop resilience, strengthen self-trust, and build the confidence to navigate life’s challenges—personally and professionally. Her approach empowers clients to cope with adversity while also being fully present for moments of joy, love, and connection.
She offers therapy online, based in London, and is available to clients across the UK, EU, and US.