Change is woven into every stage of life. Some changes are expected, such as graduations, career shifts, new homes. Others arrive uninvited: breakups, layoffs, health challenges. Yet no matter the circumstances, many people experience the same reaction: anxiety about change. If you’ve ever wondered why even positive transitions can feel overwhelming, you’re not alone. Understanding the psychology behind this reaction is the first step toward responding with more compassion and discovering ways therapies like EMDR can help.
Why Change Fuels Anxiety
1. The Brain Is Wired for Predictability
Human beings are neurologically built to prefer stability. The brain constantly scans the environment, looking for patterns that help it predict what will happen next. Predictability signals safety. Change disrupts this safety net. A new job, move, or relationship shift introduces unknowns the brain can’t easily map. The nervous system reacts with an alarm response: racing heart, shallow breathing, intrusive thoughts. From a biological perspective, anxiety about change is your body preparing to face a potential threat.
2. Fear of Change and the Loss of Control
Psychologists often talk about “locus of control”, whether we believe outcomes in life are determined by our own actions or by forces outside of us. Change, especially sudden or imposed change, can shrink that sense of control. Anxiety thrives in this uncertainty. If your history includes moments where change brought loss, chaos, or instability, your brain may have learned to equate “new” with “danger.” So even neutral or positive shifts can feel threatening, because your nervous system is primed to expect loss of control.
3. Memory Networks and Triggers
Our brains store experiences in networks: sights, sounds, sensations, and beliefs get linked together. When something in the present resembles a past experience, the brain activates that network. For example:
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A new boss may unconsciously trigger memories of a critical teacher.
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Moving house may stir echoes of childhood relocations that felt destabilizing.
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A relationship ending may awaken unresolved feelings of abandonment.
This explains why anxiety about change can feel “too big” for the situation. The reaction isn’t only about today, it’s also about every past moment of change that felt overwhelming.
4. The “What If” Spiral That Fuels Anxiety About Change
Anxiety is fueled by thought patterns. Change opens a blank page, and the brain often fills it with catastrophic predictions:
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What if I fail?
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What if I can’t cope?
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What if this ruins everything?
These “what ifs” are often rooted in long-standing negative core beliefs, such as “I’m not strong enough” or “Things never work out for me.” Until those beliefs are addressed, every change can feel like proof they’re true, reinforcing the anxiety cycle.
5. The Comfort of the Familiar
The paradox is clear: people often stay in jobs, relationships, or routines that no longer serve them simply because they are familiar. The known, even when uncomfortable, feels safer than the unknown. Psychologists call this the status quo bias. So when anxiety about change rises, it doesn’t mean the change is wrong; it means the nervous system is clinging to the predictability of the current state, even if that state is unfulfilling.
How EMDR Helps with Anxiety About Change
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is a therapy that helps the brain reprocess difficult experiences so they no longer trigger overwhelming emotional reactions. While originally developed for trauma, EMDR has shown powerful benefits for anyone struggling with anxiety, including fear of change. Here’s how EMDR makes a difference:
Healing the Roots
EMDR targets the earlier memories that fuel present-day anxiety. By reprocessing those experiences, the brain stores them more adaptively. Instead of reliving the old fear each time change arises, the memory becomes a closed chapter; something you can recall without being overwhelmed.
Calming the Nervous System
During EMDR, bilateral stimulation (such as eye movements or tapping) helps the brain stay grounded while revisiting difficult material. This reduces the intensity of the fight-or-flight response. Over time, your body learns it can tolerate uncertainty without going into alarm mode.
Reshaping Core Beliefs
EMDR also helps shift negative self-beliefs. Instead of “I can’t handle change,” new beliefs like “I am resilient and capable” emerge. These new mental frameworks reduce anticipatory anxiety, making future changes less intimidating.
Building Resilience for Future Changes With EMDR
Perhaps the most powerful outcome is resilience. Once past wounds are healed and new beliefs take root, people report that upcoming transitions feel less like looming threats and more like challenges they can meet. EMDR doesn’t remove change from life : it equips you to face it with steadiness.
Final Thoughts
Change is hard not because you’re weak, but because the human brain equates unpredictability with risk, stirs up memories of past instability, and clings to familiar routines. Anxiety about change is a natural response, but it doesn’t have to define your experience.
EMDR offers a way to resolve the old triggers that make change feel overwhelming, calm the nervous system’s alarms, and reshape the beliefs that keep you stuck. With this support, change can shift from being paralyzing to being manageable, and even an opportunity for growth. If you find yourself struggling with anxiety about change, know that you don’t have to navigate it alone. Support and healing are possible, and with the right tools, change can become less of a threat and more of an opening to new possibilities.
About the Author
Dr. Pauline Chiarizia is a Counselling Psychologist specialising in trauma and eating disorders. She offers online therapy and EMDR for individuals who are ready to explore themselves more deeply, break free from unhelpful patterns, and address challenges like anxiety, depression, trauma, low self-esteem, and burnout.
Dr. Chiarizia helps you develop resilience, strengthen self-trust, and build the confidence to navigate life’s challenges: personally and professionally. Her approach empowers clients to cope with adversity while also being fully present for moments of joy, love, and connection.
She offers therapy online, based in London, and is available to clients across the UK, EU, and US.