When coping strategies stop working, it can feel like everything is unraveling. You’ve always been someone who copes well under pressure. You keep things moving, meet deadlines, and stay productive. But lately, something has shifted. The gym doesn’t help anymore. Work feels heavier. You find yourself anxious, tense, and unusually exhausted. Your usual coping strategies aren’t working anymore—and emotional overwhelm has quietly taken over.
If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Many high-functioning professionals reach this turning point without realizing what it really means.
What Happens When Coping Strategies Stop Working?
It’s the terror you feel when your coping tools fail you. The panic that sets in when you can’t make it to work, after you relied on busyness to escape. The uncontrollable feeling that nothing offers control or safety anymore—not the gym, not a run, not any place you used to turn to. Your inner and outer worlds feel like they’re on fire all at once.
That overwhelming anxiety you once convinced yourself was your everyday drive—now it’s running the show and forcing you to stop. You might find yourself stuck in your car, unable to get out and face the day.
The identity of the helper, the reliable one, the survivor who “has it all”—nowhere to be found. And in this pain, you spiral: chest pains, tears, struggling to breathe, the heaviness that pins you to your bed or the bathroom floor. It’s the fear you’ll never be okay again. It’s the silence you’re forced to hear.
Why High Achievers Are Especially Prone to Emotional Overwhelm
High achievers often develop coping strategies early in life, especially in environments where emotional needs were overlooked or where performance was closely tied to acceptance. These strategies include:
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Staying busy to avoid discomfort
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Prioritizing others’ needs over their own
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Linking self-worth to performance
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Constantly planning or over-functioning to feel safe
These coping strategies can work for a long time. But when they stop working, emotional overwhelm takes over—and it feels like your entire world is unraveling.
Signs You’re Overwhelmed Because Coping Strategies Stop Working
Here’s how your old coping strategies might look now that they’re breaking down:
| Old Coping Strategy | What It Looks Like Now |
|---|---|
| Working late to “stay ahead” | Burnout, exhaustion, lack of focus |
| Constant planning and multitasking | Anxiety, mental fatigue, overwhelm |
| Avoiding rest or stillness | Panic attacks, emotional flooding |
| Over-helping others | Resentment, emotional numbness |
You might feel emotionally flat or numb, panicked during moments of stillness, or like your identity as the “capable one” is slipping away. These are signals that your nervous system can no longer suppress the distress it once managed.
What Emotional Overwhelm Is Really Trying to Tell You
When your coping strategies fail, your nervous system is begging you to notice what’s been pushed aside: sadness, fear, exhaustion, unmet needs. This isn’t a breakdown or failure. It’s communication—a chance to stop running and start tuning in.
This painful space is also an opportunity. It’s where you begin to grieve your old survival self and slowly bloom into a new, more authentic you that honors all your parts. It’s a call to put yourself first, to start living instead of just surviving.
How EMDR Therapy Supports You When Coping Strategies Stop Working
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing) therapy offers a powerful path forward when coping strategies fail. EMDR works by:
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Identifying early life experiences connected to your current overwhelm
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Processing unresolved emotional memories stored in your nervous system
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Reducing the intensity of painful feelings linked to past trauma
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Supporting you to develop more adaptive, flexible ways to manage stress
If you’ve learned to believe rest is lazy or that asking for help is weakness, EMDR can target these core beliefs, not just their symptoms. This helps build a stronger sense of self that doesn’t rely on over-functioning or avoidance to feel safe.
You’re Not Broken—You’re Ready for Change
If your coping strategies no longer work and you’re overwhelmed, you’re not broken. You’re at a turning point. It’s scary and painful—but it’s also the most empowering place you can be.
This is your invitation to show up for yourself, to listen to the parts you’ve been abandoning, and to begin a new chapter that’s more aligned with your true needs.
You don’t have to do this alone. If you’re ready to take the leap, reach out. That’s what professionals like myself are here for—to walk this journey with you.
Ready to Explore Next Steps?
👉 Learn more about EMDR therapy
👉 Book a free 15-minute telephone call to ask questions and see if it’s a good fit.
👉 Or, book your first consultation and get started.
About the Author
Dr. Pauline Chiarizia is a Counselling Psychologist specialising in trauma and eating disorders. She offers online talk therapy and EMDR for individuals who are ready to explore themselves more deeply, break free from unhelpful patterns, and address challenges like anxiety, low self-esteem, and burnout.
Dr. Chiarizia helps high-achieving professionals and others develop resilience, strengthen self-trust, and build the confidence to navigate life’s challenges—personally and professionally. Her approach empowers clients to cope with adversity while also being fully present for moments of joy, love, and connection.
She offers therapy online, based in London, and is available to clients across the UK, EU, and US.