Trust issues don’t come out of nowhere. They are often the result of relational trauma: experiences where emotional safety was broken by the very people who were meant to protect, care for, or value you. When trust has been repeatedly betrayed, the mind and body adapt for survival. You become cautious, alert, guarded, not because you’re “difficult,” but because you had to protect yourself. If it feels hard to rely on others, let your guard down, or believe that people can be safe, you’re not alone. And therapy can help.
What Relational Trauma Can Look Like
Relational trauma can quietly shape how you experience closeness, vulnerability, and emotional connection. You might notice:
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Difficulty trusting friends, partners, or even yourself
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Expecting betrayal, even when people haven’t given you a reason
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Feeling “on guard” in relationships
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Fear of abandonment, rejection, or being hurt
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Overthinking people’s behaviour or doubting their intentions
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Pulling away when things start to feel emotionally close
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Attracting emotionally unavailable or unsafe people
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Staying overly independent because relying on anyone feels risky
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Struggling to build genuine intimacy or emotional safety
Where it Comes From
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Emotional neglect, inconsistent caregiving, or attachment disruptions in childhood
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Chronic criticism, shaming, or emotional invalidation in the family system
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Relational betrayal or breach of trust by caregivers, peers, or partners
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Psychological abuse, including coercion, deception, gaslighting, or intimidation
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Boundary violations, including emotional, physical, or sexual boundary violations
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Exposure to controlling, chaotic, or enmeshed family dynamics
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Chronic violations of emotional and interpersonal safety
Working with Relational Trauma
In therapy, we may:
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Identify and understand attachment patterns and relational schemas that developed as adaptive responses to past experiences
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Reduce trauma-related symptoms such as hypervigilance, emotional numbing, and dissociation through nervous system regulation and evidence-based interventions
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Develop and maintain healthy relational boundaries to increase emotional safety and meet interpersonal needs effectively
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Strengthen self-trust and interoceptive awareness to support sound judgment, intuition, and decision-making
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Develop the capacity for safe connection through consistent, attuned, and reparative relational experiences within appropriate therapeutic and interpersonal contexts
- Process and modify internalized negative core beliefs (e.g., “I am unworthy,” “I don’t matter,” “I can’t trust anyone”) that stem from relational trauma
EMDR for Relational Trauma
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) can be integrated into relational trauma work when appropriate. EMDR supports healing by helping clients:
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Process memories related to betrayal, abandonment, emotional neglect, or relational violations
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Reprocess and modify trauma-related beliefs such as “I can’t rely on anyone” or “I’m not safe in relationships”
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Reduce trauma-related emotional reactivity, hypervigilance, and relational avoidance
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Increase internal stability and a felt sense of safety through nervous system regulation
Start Therapy Today
If you’d like support with trust issues rooted in relational trauma, I offer a free 15-minute telephone chat where we can explore whether therapy together feels right for you.
→ Book a free telephone chat or book your assessment session right away
— Dr Pauline Chiarizia
Online Therapy for Relational Trauma & Trust Issues | EMDR Specialist
