Low self-esteem can quietly shape your life. On the outside you may appear capable, successful, and composed, yet internally you may feel never quite good enough. Perhaps you second-guess yourself, overthink what others think of you, or feel undeserving of love, success, or respect. You may carry a persistent inner critic that keeps pushing you to do more, achieve more, be more, yet nothing feels like enough.
Low self-worth is not a personal failing. It is often the result of emotional experiences that taught you to doubt yourself.
What Low Self-Esteem Can Look Like
Low self-esteem doesn’t always look like insecurity. It can also show up as:
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Overthinking and self-doubt
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People-pleasing or difficulty saying no
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Feeling responsible for others’ emotions
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Difficulty accepting compliments or praise
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Perfectionism and fear of making mistakes
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Self-criticism and comparison to others
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Trouble trusting yourself or expressing needs
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Feeling “not enough,” even when life looks fine from the outside
If these patterns feel familiar, you’re not alone and you don’t have to stay stuck in them.
Where Low Self-Esteem Comes From
We are not born doubting our worth. Low self-esteem often develops in response to early emotional experiences such as:
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Criticism or high expectations growing up
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Emotionally distant, unpredictable, or unavailable caregivers
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Feeling unappreciated, unseen, or compared to others
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Bullying or social rejection
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Growing up around conflict, chaos, or emotional instability
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Trauma, emotional neglect, or inconsistent attachment
When emotional needs go unmet, we internalise painful beliefs like “I’m not good enough,” “My needs don’t matter,” or “Something is wrong with me.” These beliefs can follow us into adulthood but they can be addressed.
The Link Between Trauma and Low Self-Worth
Many people with chronic self-doubt have experienced developmental or relational trauma, even if they don’t label it as trauma. These experiences shape identity and self-belief. In therapy, we work to uncover where these beliefs started and help you replace self-criticism with self-trust. If helpful, I may integrate EMDR therapy to process past experiences that still hold emotional power.
How Therapy Can Help
Therapy provides a safe, structured space to change the way you relate to yourself. Together, we may work to:
- Recognize and reduce self-critical thinking
- Identify unresolved emotional patterns that affect daily life
- Strengthen healthy boundaries and increase self-respect
- Develop a clearer and more confident sense of self
- Improve relationship patterns and decision-making
- Build emotional stability and stress tolerance
You Deserve to Feel Enough
You do not have to work harder to earn your worth, you already have it. Therapy is about helping you feel it, trust it, and live from it.
If you’d like to explore working together, I offer a free 15-minute telephone consultation to discuss your needs and answer any questions.
→ Book your free telephone chat
— Dr Pauline Chiarizia
Online Therapy for Adults | EMDR & Trauma Specialist
