Many people who focus on exercise, diet, bubble baths and vacations come to me because they don’t feel any of it is helping them emotionally. Indeed, taking care of yourself emotionally may require the implementation of other factors. Don’t get me wrong, taking care of your physical health is important, but it’s not enough. It can be argued that because of the significant impact of untreated emotions on physical health, learning to take care of yourself emotionally is a preventative measure for both physical and mental health conditions.
This article presents a few aspects of self-care that you may not have considered.
Setting Boundaries: Taking care of yourself means recognising and respecting your limits and needs. This can involve saying no to commitments that deplete you or setting limits with others to preserve your energy. That’s why it’s important to re-examine your emotional needs from time to time, especially in times of stress, to make sure you’re advocating for them. Emotional needs can fluctuate according to circumstances. So, it’s important to be mindful of this, and to acquire the skills you need to reaffirm boundaries as often as necessary.
Emotional Regulation: Self-care means learning to feel your emotions in a healthy way. This can mean developing coping strategies to deal with stress and emotional distress without resorting to inappropriate means (e.g. substance use, lashing out at others, avoidant behaviours, overworking to suppress emotions, etc.). It can involve going to therapy and recognising the importance of learning how to feel your emotions.
Personal Growth: Self-care means investing in personal development. It’s about becoming aware of your strengths and shortcomings with compassion so you can take responsibility for the things you need to improve to lead the quality of life you’re striving for. You need to commit to introspection and be very honest about who you are and where you are in your journey.
Advocating for Yourself: Self-care entails advocating for your own needs and desires. This may mean asserting yourself on your own behalf in relationships or professional settings, asking for resources or support in times of need, or speaking up for what you believe in. It also means accepting that when you stand up for yourself or a specific value, you run the risk of disappointing and displeasing others.
Do nothing: In a society that preaches constant productivity, you allow yourself moments when you do absolutely nothing. You allow yourself to simply exist and do what feels right in that moment. You ground yourself in the truth that you live for yourself and that if, from time to time, you simply want to honor the fact that you exist and are therefore enough, this can be a wonderful kind of self-care that protects your mind and body from the mental and physical problems that can result from constant overstimulation.
Managing Stress: Self-care is about actively managing stress and preventing burnout. You understand the importance of managing stress and making it a priority to optimize mental and physical health. You can identify the bodily symptoms of stress and learn to manage them as soon as they appear, without waiting for them to worsen over time. This means you learn to be flexible with yourself in times of stress rather than critical, and can redefine boundaries, reconsider priorities and take care of your body and mind.
Cultivating Relationships: Taking care of ourselves also means nurturing our relationships with others. It can be as simple as spending quality time with loved ones, expressing appreciation and gratitude, having difficult conversations, learning the essential skills needed for healthy relationship dynamics, learning to resolve conflict and being there for others when they need support.
Creating a Supportive Environment: Taking care of yourself means creating a physical and emotional environment that promotes your well-being. This can mean decluttering your space, paying attention to your social media use and exposure (what you follow and the content you absorb), being intentional with spending more time in nature and seeking out environments in which you feel safe and comfortable.
Practicing Self-Compassion: Self-care is about treating ourselves with gentleness, compassion and understanding, especially in difficult times. It can be a matter of practicing self-compassion, forgiving ourselves for our mistakes and putting our own self-care first without shame.
Approaching yourself with compassion is an important part of self-care, and it helps to realize that a big part of self-care has to do with how you approach yourself and your situation rather than an endless list of all the different activities that will “make you better”. If you focus on paying attention to your own self-talk and strive to be more compassionate with yourself, you’ll find it easier to take responsibility for yourself and your situation in life, which is already a great thing!
Would you like support with your self-care, or do you need help during a particularly stressful time? Send me an e-mail at [email protected] to schedule an initial consultation.