Elevating Self-Worth: Your Secret Weapon Against Anxiety

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Anxiety often feels like an unwanted friend that follows us around, making everything harder. For many people, it comes from work stress, complicated relationships, or just the unpredictability of life. But one important thing that often gets ignored is how we view our own self-worth.

Self-worth is like an internal guide that helps us understand who we are and how we fit into the world. It affects how we think others should treat us. People with high self-worth know they are valuable just as they are, without needing to prove it through accomplishments or what others think of them. This mindset makes them stronger when facing tough times, allowing them to handle both wins and losses without letting those experiences change how they see themselves. When we don’t have this strong sense of self-worth, it can lead to anxiety. If we don’t believe we deserve good things or respect, we can easily feel insecure and fearful, which only makes our anxiety worse.

The relationship between low self-worth and anxiety is often cyclical and self-reinforcing. Individuals with low self-worth may avoid taking risks or pursuing opportunities out of fear that they will fail or be judged by others. This avoidance behavior can lead to missed opportunities for growth, reinforcing their belief that they are incapable or unworthy. As a result, their self-esteem diminishes further, leading to increased feelings of anxiety.

Furthermore, the fear of judgment is particularly intense for those with low self-worth. They often obsess over how others perceive them, leading to anxiety, social withdrawal, and feelings of inadequacy. This creates a feedback loop where anxiety and low self-worth reinforce each other, making it hard to escape negative self-perception.

Many individuals with low self-worth rely on others to manage their anxiety, seeking constant reassurance and validation. This dependence prevents them from recognizing their own coping abilities and fosters the belief that they “can’t cope” without support. As they lean on others, they become less confident in handling challenges independently, heightening their fear of judgment and abandonment.

This reliance impacts their self-worth, as believing they cannot manage their anxiety undermines their sense of value. Over time, this cycle of dependence deepens feelings of inadequacy and anxiety, making it harder to break free. To escape this pattern, individuals must shift their focus from external validation to internal empowerment, recognizing their strengths and capabilities. By doing so, they can build self-worth, face challenges with confidence, manage their anxiety better and reduce the fear of judgment from others.

Here are some practical tips to help you get started on this empowering journey—alone. 

Self Compassion:

Treat yourself with kindness and understanding, just as you would a close friend. Acknowledge that everyone makes mistakes and has flaws. When negative thoughts creep in, challenge them. Instead of thinking, “I messed up, I’m a failure,” reframe it to, “I made a mistake, and I can learn from it.” This shift in perspective can help cultivate a more compassionate self-image.

Practice Grounding Techniques when you are Anxious or Overwhelmed 

Instead of spiraling into anxiety, take a moment to recognize your feelings and consciously choose to ground yourself. Before reaching out for help (particularly if you engage in reassurance behaviour straight away), set a timer for 5 minutes. During this time, focus on calming yourself through deep breathing exercises and observing your surroundings. You can also try the butterfly exercise: gently hug yourself while alternating gentle taps on your left and right arms. As you become more comfortable with this practice, gradually extend the timer to 10 or 15 minutes, allowing yourself more time to relax and regain your composure. If, after the timer goes off, you still feel overwhelmed, it’s perfectly okay to seek help.

This practice of first attempting to ground yourself fosters accountability and encourages you to manage your anxiety more effectively on your own. By tolerating the discomfort of being anxious by yourself, you come to realize that you can survive such experiences. Over time, this approach reduces your dependency on others while empowering you to cope with challenges more confidently.

When you do seek support, avoid relying on others to “save” you. Instead of asking for help in a way that implies you need them to fix you, be explicit about how they can assist. For instance, you might say, “Can you do this breathing exercise with me?” or “Can we talk about [specific topic] to distract me?” Alternatively, you could ask, “Can I just vent to you for a minute?” By articulating your needs clearly, you take ownership of your emotions without placing the responsibility for your well-being on someone else.

Challenge Negative Beliefs 

Identifying and challenging the negative beliefs you hold about yourself is a crucial step in enhancing your self-worth. Begin by examining these beliefs and assessing their validity. Are they rooted in facts, or are they mere assumptions that you’ve internalized over time?

To effectively challenge these beliefs, gather evidence that contradicts them. For instance, if you often think, “I’m not good enough,” take a moment to reflect on your past achievements and the moments where you’ve succeeded, no matter how small. Write these down and revisit them whenever those negative thoughts arise.

Additionally, employ the questioning technique of “Says who?” When a negative thought crosses your mind, ask yourself who is telling you that you’re not worthy or capable. Is it a critical voice from your past, societal expectations, or perhaps a fleeting moment of self-doubt? By questioning the source of these beliefs, you empower yourself to recognise that you have the final say in determining your worth.

This practice not only helps to dismantle harmful thought patterns but also reinforces the idea that YOU are in control of how you perceive yourself.

Need help managing your anxiety and boosting your self-esteem? Do you think past trauma may be impacting your well-being?
Don’t hesitate to reach out. You can contact me via email at [email protected]